Who to Invite:
Getting your guest list under control
By: Miranda Weidemier
Making a guest list for your wedding is a very exciting part of the wedding planning process. It’s really where it all begins! But, as exciting as it is, it can be one of the most challenging tasks to do. Here are some tips on how to take control of your wedding guest list. First, you should create an estimate number of guests according to your budget to have a round about idea of what you’re working with.
Bridal Guide’s website offers some great insight to Sharon Naylor’s book, The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette. This book suggests creating four lists, A, B, C, and D. List A includes the people you couldn’t see your self getting married without, your parents, very close family, and best friends. List B includes aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. List C should include coworkers, parents’ friends, and neighbors. Finally, list D should include distant relatives and old friends. If these combined lists fits your “guest budget”, great! However, most times these lists will exceed your initial estimate. This is where you start eliminating people starting with list D and working your way backwards until you are satisfied with your guest list.
When dealing with your parents, you may get into arguments about whether or not to invite certain family members or family friends. A great way to solve this problem is to cut your guest budget in thirds where the brides parents pays for guests on the brides side of the family, the groom’s parents pay for the guests on the groom’s side of the family, and the bride and groom pay for their friends, coworkers, etc. If you have a tighter budget and are paying for your wedding yourself, you can also simply give each side of the family a set number of guests they can invite so they do not exceed the limit.
What about the people you haven’t talked to in years? Old friends and family often pop up while planning out your guest list. If you haven’t talked to them or can’t remember what they look like or where they live, you probably shouldn’t invite them. Chances are, you wont see them for another few years anyways. Don’t feel bad when choosing not to invite people to your wedding. It’s YOUR wedding!
When deciding if you want kids at your wedding, take into consideration the type of wedding you’re having. A casual outdoor wedding is much more kid friendly than an upscale wedding at a classy venue. If the kids are very close to you or in your wedding party it may be safe to say no kids, except for those select few. You don’t want your third cousin to bring her five kids and have them running around the whole time. An alternative is to hire a children’s activity coordinator who kind of watches the children and does activities with them. But for the most part, weddings aren’t exactly kid friendly.
One of the toughest battles couples go through while making the guest list is deciding who to give a plus one to. It is especially hard for younger couples that are more likely to have single friends. Some suggest that unless they are dating or living together don’t invite them. It’s not your responsibility to let them find a “date” to bring to YOUR wedding. This isn’t prom people! They should be there for YOU if they are good friends they will understand. This also gives your single friends an opportunity to meet new people and socialize while some dates end up being party poopers.
Finally, if you come down to your final decisions and you are on the fence about whether to invite someone or not and you just cant decide. Invite them. If it’s someone important to you, but you’re already over your limit, it’s better to have him or her there than regret it afterwards.
Happy guest list making!
The Beginning – Start by introducing yourself and telling everyone how you met the bride. While this sounds boring, its important to let everyone at the wedding know who you are and what your relationship to the bride is. If the number is impressive, mention how long you’ve known the bride. You can also share a story of your experience being the maid of honor or how excited you are to share this day with her.
The Middle – Be advised: it’s okay for a speech to be short and sweet. Try to max out at around 5-7 minutes so you don’t lose your audience’s attention. One idea for an entertaining but sweet speech is telling the story of how the bride and groom met or how he proposed. Not everyone at the wedding may know these stories, and it’s a great way to focus on the couple. Using stories from the couples’ relationship to show how they will have a great marriage is a perfect way to toast them on their special day. Another approach you could take is “Three reasons why Jessica is right for Paul” (or the other way around). Think of some characteristics and use them as starting points for stories about the bride. Feel free to be silly with this, too!
As a Bride: 
When dealing with your parents, you may get into arguments about whether or not to invite certain family members or family friends. A great way to solve this problem is to cut your guest budget in thirds where the brides parents pays for guests on the brides side of the family, the groom’s parents pay for the guests on the groom’s side of the family, and the bride and groom pay for their friends, coworkers, etc. If you have a tighter budget and are paying for your wedding yourself, you can also simply give each side of the family a set number of guests they can invite so they do not exceed the limit.
