Burning the Toast

My Toast!!! It's Ruined!

Wedding speeches should be witty, funny, full of laughs and end on a seriously romantic note! Unfortunately  every so often we attend a wedding where someone forgot to check their "speech content resulting in a long awkward pause before the uneasy, uncomfortable slow clap. To hopefully help those giving a speech or toast, here are the five quickest ways to ruin a wedding speech – show this to your groom and best man immediately… they have been warned!

Not being prepared

Maybe one-in-a-thousand people could pull off an improvisational wedding speech with some degree of success, but it’s unlikely that you will. When you haven’t prepared, what often happens is that the nerves kick in and between the ‘ums’ and ‘ahs’ you’ll find yourself grasping for things to say, or worse still, rambling on for an hour leaving a hungry Aunt Harriet to ask a bit too loudly when dinner will be served. 

Using inappropriate content

At most weddings, your audience will span three generations. Try to make sure that there is nothing in your wedding speech that you wouldn’t tell to your grandma or any young relations. Top of the list of things to avoid are detailed reviews of the stag party. Apply the rule that “what goes on tour, stays on tour.” rule and DO NOT forget that!

Forgetting your wedding etiquette

Each of the speeches has its own particular function and it is important to make sure your  wedding speech does what it’s supposed to. In many cases, months of planning will have gone into choosing the correct wording of an invitation, or the political implications of the seating plan (everyone knows that!) So if you come along and forget to toast the parents or fail to welcome the guests then you’re going to be in trouble. Do some research and make sure your speech complies with the etiquette of the day.

Too much "Dutch" courage

There is a fine line between getting some Dutch courage and losing control of what you’re saying and doing. It’s safer to abstain from drinking until you’ve done your speech, but at a wedding this can be hard, especially if you have to sit through a meal before the speeches. If everyone is nervous about the speeches, consider switching them to before the meal – that way everyone can enjoy a few well-deserved glasses of wine later.

Rehashing old jokes

You don’t need to be a professional stand-up comedian to write your own material, just collect a range of information on your subject and in time your wedding speech will take shape. Although it can be tempting, you should try and avoid rehashing the same old wedding gags – “It’s obviously been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers,” is probably one of the more tired ones, but there are hundreds of others that will get you nothing but heard-it-before groans.

Happy planning!!!....and writing

xoxo

Katherine